So you went and knocked someone up (hopefully your wife), and now you gotta raise this thing so they don’t end up like you…
How do you do it, you ask?
Lucky for you, I have all of your answers! But before I give you the best secrets that no one else knows, let me tel you why I’m qualified to write this article…
I’ve been part of a two-parent team (with my lovely wife) for 2 years, helping to raise the Princess of the Universe.
My qualification is mainly that my daughter is still alive after 2 years, which is how I recommend you grade your parenting at the end of every day.
You need to know that you can only raise a child to your own level. You can only teach them things that you yourself know.
Ok with that said…
With that being said, there’s no need to beat around the bush (that’s how this all started after all), so let’s dive in… (again, that’s how this started)
The Beginning
Imagine you’ve just had a baby (or your wife have, don’t forget that) and you and your family are in the hospital room trying to steal just 1 full hour of sleep.
Your cranky because you’ve been up for 32 hours straight, and baby mamma is cranky because she’s been up for 32 hours, delivered a Mac Truck out of her doggy door and can’t get the baby to latch, not to mention your new little angel just made their first poopie in this new world…
…all the way up their back!
Just as you and your wife start to dose off, a nurse comes crashing into the room like a hurricane waking everyone up!
Your first thought is to punch the nurse, but there could be consequences. You have to stay cool, breathe and realize that they are just trying to help.
That’s where your journey of increased patience begins, and it will never get easier.
The Ultimate Challenge
Kids do the darndest things, and they do not care how you feel about it. They are evil, selfish little creatures that will manipulate anyone to get their way.
They are persistent, courageous, defiant and will smear poop on anything that moves!
If you’ve got some sort of crazy idea that you’re going to be the type of parent that will get through to their child simply by raising your voice and sounding scary, you’re an idiot.
I can say that, because I too thought that would work. Wanna know what really happens when you yell?
The child will ignore you until you pop a blood vessel! Kids are THE best negotiators on the planet, and parents are no match.
“So what do I do?” Ahh I’m glad I asked…
This is a 3-part answer…
1. Understand that you can’t hit a child (you’ll want to)
2. Understand that children don’t know what danger is yet, and don’t know why you’re yelling, or even that they SHOULD be afraid.
3. MOST IMPORTANT: Learn the art of distraction.
Kids are easily distracted, and is parents can use this to our advantage, which we will need to do constantly!
Don’t Screw Them Up Mentally
All children are born limitless, and it’s the beliefs that their parents and society instill that eff with their mind and confidence.
At the very least, us parents should try to not place limits on their dreams, no matter what we think of them…EVER!
Kids want to do some crazy shiznit like be a rocket scientist, a cowboy, an NBA (or WNBA) champion, a mermaid, or grow a small business from selling books online to the world’s most known business.
You might think their dreams sound insane and are completely unrealistic, but just know that YOU are the one who would be wrong.
Always encourage them to try things and put in effort for a long enough period to get results!
Us parents have the biggest influence on our children, so we need to make sure we are telling them they are Superman or Supergirl from day 1.
Also, you can’t teach them to be better than where you are at any point in time. YOU have to continue to learn new things so you can teach your children to be more successful than yourself.
Fun Is Allowed
I know you’re a stickler for your rules, and what you say goes, exactly when you say it, right?
Of course, but not always…
It’s ok to break your rules in the name of fun! Yep, I said that your child’s smile is more important than their 8pm on-the-dot bedtime.
Your little Tasmanian devil needs structure, but they also need to be happy and excited. Don’t be too strict because that type of dictatorship raises assholes. Trust me.
Then there’s the subject of danger, and teaching them things that they could get hurt doing if you (the parent) aren’t around to save them.
Do you let them have fun while you’re there and risk them…say…jumping off the couch head first while you’re not there?
My wife will disagree, but I always help my daughter have dangerous fun while I’m there, and so far I’ve kept my parenting qualification!
As parents, it’s WAY too easy to say No to everything, whether it’s for good reason, or just because we don’t want to clean up a mess.
No is a very dangerous word for a child to hear all day every day. Try using distraction instead.
If distraction doesn’t work, try the “If you do this, then you can watch Mickey Mouse on daddy’s phone.”
But the bottom line is you should aim to enable your child to have as much fun as humanly possible!
Let’s Review
We now know that we have to have patience because kids are still learning what the world is, right from wrong and safety from danger.
We have to encourage their dreams, and constantly remind them that they can do absolutely anything they can dream up.
And we know that we have to be just as much a partner in fun as we are the rule-enforcing parent.
I know this all sounds so simple, but trust me, you will get emotional is a lot of situations, and you will fail to keep your cool.
These principles need to be actively practiced, or you’ll find yourself raising your kid in a sad bubble with no confidence. Don’t do that!
There is no one way to raise a child, and as long as your keep your child’s best interest in mind, I encourage you to trusts your own intuition on what’s right and wrong.
I’m just here to share the lessons I’ve learned along my own journey. Go forth and raise a super nerd or super athlete so they can get rich and take care of you one day!
P.S. That’s also one more reason to make sure they have a great childhood, because you ain’t gettin no money if they think you screwed them up.
-The Legend
JakeMartincic.com 